A New Identity To Dominate Daddy

Since Daddy is still quadruple the size of me it is important for me to bring in alter-egos to hold my own  in the power structure of the house.

I found a new one today.  The Phorusrhacidae . . . The Terror Bird!  The Apex Predator of the Cenozoic.

Daddy is a little over six foot.  Terror Bird is a little over ten feet.  Do the math.

How do you like them apples Daddy!

Respect My Authority!

-Jaxon

Discipline in the Field

Today is Memorial Day.  We honor those who served like my Mommy!

Well, turns out there are some protocols you need to follow when you visit a cemetery, especially on a day like today.

Apparently trying to grab flowers off of markers is frowned on.  I didn't know I could get put into "Time Out" a mile away from my house.  In a cemetery of all places!

-Jaxon

My Introduction to Tintin

Not A Moment To Lose!  Get me another Tintin book.

I had my first introduction to the world of Tintin and his friend Captain Haddock today and it was very exciting.  We didn't finish the whole thing but that just makes me excited for the next episode tomorrow.

Apparently this was my Daddy's favorite series of adventure books when he was a boy, quite frankly I'm not sure how some of the themes went under Deeda's radar.  It isn't exactly Hop on Pop in its subject matter.

It is sad how Captain Haddock's alcohol abuse is taken pretty lightly and trivialized.

However, what really fascinated me was the language he uses.  I certainly learned some words to hold my own on the playground!

But what I really appreciated was all the use of guns.  Tintin is like a Caillou who can hold his own!

Daddy has introduced a whole new world to me and I love it!

-Jaxon

Channeling My Inner Eddie Bauer

Today, I learned there is a lot more to being a Northwest Toddler than just eating at Ivar's.  Today Uncle Andrew introduced me to another Northwest tradition, hiking, and looking good doing it!

 In some regions of the country you just grab a pair of boots a ragged baseball cap and call it good but not here.

Taking a hike is like walking down the Red Carpet as far as Uncle Andrew is concerned.

Yeah, you don't just look this good without a bit of preparation.

My only regret is that there were so few people around to see us!

This is living!

-Jaxon

Talk About The Wrong Time To Attempt A Comeback!

Yes, I know a few nights ago I was reconnecting with with my Cars.

History will never know if this comeback would have been successful though.  Something has just come to my attention to put Dinosaurs fully back into the spotlight!

In Patagonia they just discovered a Dinosaur that is even bigger than an Argentinosaurus!

As exciting as the roar of an engine is it just can't compete with a creature that was as tall as a seven-story building and as massive as 14 elephants.

Yeah, just like there can only be one Sun in the sky I can now have only one object for my attention.

-Jaxon

Don't You Need To At Least Know How To Write To Have A Constitution!

Do you know why the Norwegians brought ladders to the supermarkets in Oslo?  Because they heard the prices were HIGH.

So today was Norwegian Constitution Day.  The day Norwegians celebrate taking a great leap backwards when they seceded from Sweden.

Well, we were better off without them.  You can't coddle someone forever.

Question: How do you say Genius in Norwegian?
Answer: Tourist.

Well, I found myself inadvertently in their Parade today when we went to dinner in Ballard tonight.

Maybe it was the Rhubarb Lemonade talking but as a proud Son of SWEDEN I couldn't resist heckling.  

I know it has been awhile since 1814 but Scandinavians remember a very long time.

-Jaxon

Reconnecting With An Old Friend

I don't know what came over me tonight.  After compelling Daddy to read five Dinosaur books I had an urge that I haven't had in awhile . . . to have Daddy read my Cars book.

Oh Finn McMissile I missed you.  It was almost like the old times.

Time will tell if the roar of the Car engine will ever compete with the roar of a Dinosaur but tonight they held their own.

-Jaxon

What is the Disney Channel Really Good For???

I am deciding that what makes Disney worth watching is all the blonds!  Most notably Dove Cameron, the star of the movie Cloud 9.

Really, Cloud 9 didn't have much of a plot but my eyes were glued to it.  Well, mainly glued to Dove Cameron.

Not sure what compelled me to watch so intently but Daddy said I would understand more when I got older. Kind of like why he enjoyed Wheel of Fortune so much growing-up (Vanna White).

I think I might be developing my first crush though.

Could I at Least be a Hanger On Ernesto?

The Multi-Billionaire, Ernesto Bertarelli and his wife Kirsty have dropped by Lake Union to refuel their yacht the VAVA II.  Very exciting!

I was determined to use my charm to catch a ride.  How do you have a chance to hitch a ride on a $160 million yacht with a billionaire?  Pretty simple, just go to where the high end people park their boats and wait . . . that is why I directed Daddy to go to Ivar's Salmon House.

Well that was disappointing.  I guess Ernesto and Kirsty weren't in the mood for Fish and Chips tonight.  They were probably out getting a Happy Meal.

Or it might have been because of all the lower class boaters showing-up to take up dock space.  

When you are driving something larger than a Washington State Ferry with a helicopter landing pad it is hard to fit  on a dock when the riff-raff are about.

Will you please move along now.  I am trying to do some social climbing!

-Jaxon

A Successful Day At Carkeek

It's not really in my neighborhood but it is for my friends.  Today we had an exciting day at Carkeek Park.

I knew walking along the fence that I was going to have a lot of fun.  I mean, if you have to build fences to protect people I should be anticipating some excitement!

Going to a playground is great but this park even allows you to search for frogs . . .

. . . or even meet a slug!

Or a train!

Yeah, it didn't get any better than that until I looked up because of a very loud sound!

A B-17!  Talk about a park that is totally designed for a little boy.

An EMERGENCY! I love it when these things happen.

I haven't had so much fun since I went to the Emergency Room and everyone was fussing over me.  

There was an undetected leak in my basement.  Total chaos and I got to watch it unfold.  It was great.  God only knows how 32 Gallons of water leaks into his office over a week and Daddy doesn't even realize it but by the time it was over it was past the point of no return.

Daddy's office is now a lake!  But the great part was watching all the excitement that happened after Mommy realized what was going on.  I got to watch Mommy, Deeda and Papo operate on Red Alert and then I got to meet Tim from Chem-Dry.  How exciting.

Daddy was less fun.  He came home from work, glazed over and had a drink.  Lame.

-Jaxon

Not Mexican . . . But I can still rationalize a party!

Why does this very American Toddler celebrate Cinco de Mayo???  If Napoleon III had been victorious in 1861 in conquering Mexico for the French he could have used it as a base of operations to conquer the American West (Where I live) because the United States was bogged down in the Civil War at the time.  At the very least the French would have probably aided the Confederacy and would have probably given them the extra edge in winning the Civil War.

Had the Mexicans not been victorious at the Battle of Puebla the American West might have been a French Territory.

Now that is worth celebrating with a couple of Tacos!

Read Your History!!!!

-Jaxon

My Proposal To Ivar's

My parents are adamant that I go to college but honestly I think I could probably start my career now.  After all, I have already found something that I do really well and have a passion for . . . eating fish and chips at Ivar's.  It just seems natural that my life calling should be a spokestoddler for their organization.

Jared Fogle is paid millions by Subway and his only real talent is a willingness to eat there all the time.  Well, I have the same feeling about Ivar's AND I am just as svelte.

Through the years I have almost made it a requirement that Daddy take me there after every vigorous run at Gasworks Park.

Honestly, could you imagine a bigger advocate for this place.

Granted I do have a little trouble "Keeping Clam" sometimes.  Daddy has a bad habit of sometimes trying to steal some of my fish, today I had to actually physically grab it away from him and hold it in my hand as a precaution but I could work on that with an acting coach.

If you need any more incentive, like Ivar Haglund I have a very distinctive Scandinavian middle name that could very easily be reversed with my current last name for maximum marketing purposes!

I hope you guys at corporate aren't going to ignore this golden opportunity.  

-Jaxon

Visiting Africa

Today we were scheduled to visit friends, but not just any friends.  Today we were going to go across the lake.  I wasn't quite sure where this new place was but it made since that we were going to that land mass across the water I have always heard about on my Dinosaur TV shows.

I was excited to finally be going to Africa!

Perhaps we would even get to go dig for some Dinosaur fossils or at least go on a safari!

Well, turns out Africa is actually a place called Bellevue and it was just as rainy as the place that I had left.  I didn't even get a plane ride!

Still, it wasn't a total waste.  I got to hang out with my surrogate Little Brother Matthew.

And hey, there was still plenty to keep me occupied!

Matthew has a bigger Dump Truck and Ball than I do so I was quite entertained.

All and all the night was quite entertaining.  Hey, sometimes even if your trip takes you someplace other than expected it was still worth it.  

Just think about Christopher Columbus sailing to Asia and ending in America!  

Also kind of nice when you are tired and want to go home you don't have to go across multiple time zones!

-Jaxon