Sleeping is for Suckers

My Parents thought I was ready to sleep with all the milk they gave me.  But I go to bed when I feel like it. Nothing like a good three solid hours of yelling to show them who is the real King of the House.

I even impressed myself.  I think I hit a new record for continuous yelling at the top of my lungs tonight.  I don't think any of the other babies in the neighborhood can compete.  I should have a Gold Medal in the Screaming Olympics.

Jaxon

Stepping Out

Mom sent Dad to Varlarmos tonight to get some subs for dinner AND he took me along.  Very exciting trip!  Going across the street, seeing the packed restaurant with all the noisy people, I was taking it all in big time!  

Daddy mentioned when we were waiting to cross the street that it would be awhile before he sent me to Varlarmos by myself to get dinner.  Apparently the street is an issue.

I can understand for now.  After all I can't even walk yet.  With all the growing I'm doing though, hopefully I can go pick-up dinner in a month or two by myself.

-Jaxon

Fingers

I've been trying new things recently.  Ground rice, bananas, squash and now I'm trying Daddy's finger.

I love the texture of it.  However, I'm not sold on the taste.  Everything should be tried once.  Since I've already attempted to nurse Mommy's finger also.

I am becoming a true finger connoisseur.

-Jaxon

Fight the Power

The Man (Mommy and Daddy) tries to control me by pacifying me with Milk and ground Bananas.  Not complaining but I want more out of life.  I just don't know what.  However, since I can't put my little finger on it yet, I'll just yell when I feel unfulfilled.

Perhaps I will find a little more meaning in my monotonous milk swilling existence by chewing on Elmo a bit.  It's worth a shot.

Looking for more in life.  There has got to be more to the world then drinking milk till I pass out.

-Jaxon

Where the Wild Things Are

Daddy read me Where the Wild Things Are.  I'm fascinated by the character Max who can misbehave, be sent to his room without dinner, and then using his mind escape to a place where he rules a bunch of monsters.  Now, I'm currently a baby so I can yell and scream without repercussions.  However, there will be a day when my current behavior will probably get me sent to my room just like Max.

All I need to do now is to convince Grandma to make me a wolf costume.  I don't think I could stand being confined to my room . . . ever!

Let the Wild Rumpus Begin!

Jaxon

In as Elmo out as Oscar

We went to Babies "R" Us today and got a new Elmo doll and an Elmo bib.  I loved the bib.  I looked great sitting down to try out peas for the first time.  As polished and cute as I was I could have passed for a little Elmo.

Then the insanity starts.  Dad just does not know how to feed me quick enough.  I was shoveling that stuff hardcore.  Of course by the end I looked like another Sesame Street character.

Total transformation to Oscar the Grouch!  Gross, it isn't my nature to messy like that but I felt like it and of course, I am a baby.  Thank God that Dad was ready with the wet rag.

-Jaxon

I Don't Like Surprises

Today is my 100th blog!  It was thus fascinating that I went to a surprise birthday party for my friend Severine.  Unfortunately it was a surprise party and I wasn't told all of a sudden people were going to start yelling as soon as Severine and her husband Mike came in the door.

Very upsetting for a baby.  Perhaps in the future I can have some Champagne to calm myself but for now there is no way it would be healthy for my little body.  I wasn't even offered any.  I had to cry it out. : (

Cheers!

Jaxon

The Office

Saw a bit of The Office tonight.  Nice to see Michael and Holly got together.  Hopefully they will have a little baby for me to watch on TV soon.

But what really fascinated me was Dwight.  It is like a baby grew to the size of an adult but kept most of his baby features.  Very strange.  Perhaps he is the final stage between when a baby forms into an adult.

Congratulations Michael and Holly!

Jaxon

Oompa Loompa????

I was served squash tonight.  I couldn't trust Dad to feed me quick enough so I mashed it on my face to hurry things up.  Mommy said that I looked like a little Oompa Loompa with all the squash making my face orange.  What's that???  Then Dad showed me pictures.

                                                                    Oompa Loompa

                                                                         Jaxon (Me)
        
Apparently they are the workers at Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.  Chocolate? Willy Wonka? I have heard of chocolate but who is Willy Wonka?  I'm confused about all these things.  Perhaps I will go there someday?  For now I'm just stuck being a baby.  I'm looking forward to this big world ahead of me.

I wonder if being an Oompa Loompa is a transitional phase between being a baby and an adult?

Jaxon

Pooping!

When was it going to happen???  All day long diapers were changed and they were as white as when they had been put on.  Grandma and Mom were even a little concerned but then finally, ahhh, relief.  I may be having an increase in appetite but you can only squeeze so much milk and squash in this little body without some eventually coming out the other way!  There will be no graphics.  This is a classy blog.  Just a picture of me being content.

Feeling a little lighter. : )

Jaxon

Squash!

Mommy went overboard and made some squash for me.

Wow!  And I thought the ground rice was worth shoveling into my mouth.

Seeing all of them lined in a row made me quiver with anticipation.  Then it was chow time.  When Dad didn't feed me quick enough I yelled and cried.  I had no trouble taking down an entire cup.

Table manners are for suckers and those who don't truly enjoy food!

-Jaxon

My Big Fat Greek Experience

We went to Fournos tonight for dinner.  It is a Greek restaurant.  I met the owners George (Not Curious) and Chris.  I was of course riveted by the lights and how loud everybody was.  Then Mommy gave we a dab of Hummus!  Wow, way more of a taste explosion than my ground rice.

I was fascinated by all the wonderful imagery also.  A lot for a baby to take in!

But my favorite part was hanging out with George and Chris.  They were very cheerful and loud.  The way I am after some milk and Baby Einstein time.  They promised me in twenty years and seven months they would let me try some of the bright colored juice they were making!

                                                          
                                                                    George and Chris

Antio,

Jaxon

I Love Sophie

I love Sophie, she is like the little sister I never had.  She squeaks really loud when I squeeze her, but the best is the way I can chew on her head for hours.  Pacifiers are kind of passe now but I love the taste of Sophie.

I wonder if the Giraffes at the zoo taste as good????

-Jaxon

My First St. Paddy's Day

Enjoyed my first St. Paddy's Day.  Mom didn't provide any green colored milk which was a bummer.  However, she had me dressed like a little Leprechaun today!  I was banging on my Baby Einstein and yelling the way some people are banging on bar tables tonight!

My ethnicity might be Swedish, Guamanian, Scottish and Swiss but today I am a little Irish Baby!

Jaxon

Sleep all Day, Party all Night

Had a fun day with aunt Ashley but I slept most of the time.  Tonight I am a Party Animal.  And why not? I have both Mom AND Dad to pay attention to me so I'm going to chug milk, suck my thumb, drool, yell and flail my arms and legs all night long.

Cross the drooling of Spuds McKenzie,  the fist pumping of The Situation, the Tiger Blood of Charlie Sheen (Remember I was born Year of the Tiger) and you have Jaxon.  The ultimate Party Animal.

                                                                          The Situation
    
                                                                                   +

                                                              
                                                                  Spuds McKenzie

                                                                            +
    

Charlie Sheen

                                                                               =

                                                      
                                                                            Jaxon
                                                                I can party ALL night long.

Ketchup

I have found something new in life and I am fascinated by it.  Ketchup, whatever it is it is an exotic and tantalizing thing to look at.  The shape of the bottle, the way it squeezes out, I've never seen anything like it before.  Wow.

Looking forward to seeing more stuff like this in my travels.

-Jaxon

Japan Earthquake

The earthquake in Japan that I have been hearing about on the TV is very concerning for a baby such as myself.  The whole idea that the ground could lurch back and forth like when I am in my swing is not a pleasant thought.  Also learning that people are being hurt makes me want to cry.  : (

But then I heard a baby like myself was found in the rubble!  And was safe.  This makes me feel a little better.  Still, this is a lot for my little mind to take in.

I hope that baby gets lots of milk.  I would even donate some of mine.

Here is hoping the situation in Japan improves.

-Jaxon

Daddy is not to be Trusted

I know he meant well, but Daddy could not feed me my ground-up rice quick enough.  Basically I had to start shoveling the ground rice from my bib and hands because he wouldn't feed me quick enough.

Get with the program Daddy.  This whole solid food thing is way the most exciting thing on Earth.  So feed me faster or I will take things into my own hands.

Can't wait for my next solid food experience.

-Jaxon

Peter Rabbit?

Dad read me "The Tale of Peter Rabbit" before he actually took me to meet him today.  Well now I'm doubting if it was the REAL Peter.  The Peter I met was about the size of Dad and would have probably fought Mr. McGregor for his vegetable rather then run from him.  Now I'm just confused. You shouldn't give me so much information if you want me to believe something at face value Dad.  I am a sophisticated baby.

The bunny ears I got weren't very cool either.  I am not  Jaxon Peter Rabbit.  I am a baby.

I am smarter then you think Mom and Dad.

-Jaxon

Ipad 2 = Adult Babies

My parents took me to the University Village today and there was a whole line of adults outside of the Apple Store.  They were screeching like me when I don't get my milk quick enough.  Apparently they were waiting for the new "Ipad 2" that came out today.

I don't know what the big thing is about these Apple products.  I tried chewing on Dad's Iphone and it didn't taste very good.  My only guess is that the Ipad contains some sort of special tasting milk.  Otherwise why would the grownups act like this?

Confused.  Also some of them still need their Mommys to dress them.  Apart from the fact that nearly everyone was wearing black, what were these guys thinking?  Even I know that guys don't wear dresses.

Going to retreat to my milk and clean diapers tonight.  I can only learn so much about the grownup world and not be overwhelmed.

-Jaxon

Buttons

Mimi made me some really beautiful sweaters.  The real cool thing is all the buttons that are on them.  I love chewing and sucking on them.  This doesn't make Mom happy at all.  She is concerned about me swallowing one.  I'm not worried though.  Being a baby it really isn't my job to worry about anything, just react.  So if a button tastes good, I'm going to chew away.

Living life without regrets while I'm still a baby.

-Jaxon

Eye Goopy + Eye Drops = Pain!

I had an Eye Goopy for a couple of days.  Total overreaction by Mom and Dad.  They sent me to my Pediatrician Dr. Tom.  Now I usually like the guy.  I get to roll around the examining table naked, he weighs and measures me, fun stuff.  But today he prescribed some eye drops for me.  Ouch!  I haven't had such a worse trip to the Pediatrician since I got my blood drawn.  I wish Mom and Dad would have just let my suffer through those Eye Goopies.  : (

I hate being medicated.

Jaxon

Overstimulated by Sesame Street

Mom and Dad let me watch a little bit of Sesame Street during dinner.  Way cool.  But after the second skit I just got way too excited.  The synapsis in my head were going crazy.  I shook my Baby Einstein and slobbered like it was going out of style.  I couldn't help myself.  The antics and sounds of those puppets is just way to exciting to hold back my enthusiasm.  In the end Mom had to hold me.  By the time Bert and Ernie came on I couldn't be contained.

So riveted in anticipation for the next time I watch this show I am ready to burst!

-Jaxon

The Fist

Another exciting thing I have been learning about is my fist.  I have mastered closing my fingers together and get a sense of power every time I do it.  I can just stare at it forever.  It is very stimulating because I feel that if I put enough power into it I could knock something or somebody over.  I see lots of potential here.

I will try and use this new power in moderation, just don't test me.

-Jaxon

Elmo

A very exciting weekend.  I discovered or rather I was introduced to Elmo.  My hair has a little red texture but I probably will not ever grow as much as this guy or have such big eyes.  He is the most exciting character on Sesame Street.

So we watched a bunch of YouTube clips of him hanging out with celebrities.  Dad kept on replaying one with him and Katy Perry for some reason, must be all the milk potential she has.

Looking forward to watching this show for hours in the future.  Or has much as Mom and Dad let me.

-Jaxon

IKEA Sanity

On a more sane note.  I did go to IKEA today with Mom, Mormor and Mimi.  Small and modern European furniture, not to little but not to much meatballs provided.  I of course slept through most of it.  Not at all like Charlie Sheen.  I doubt he is Swedish.

Farvål,

Jaxon

Charlie Sheen?!?!?!

There is a crazy guy on TV who babbles and bounces around even more then me.  He is decades older then I am but he basically is as much of a baby as I am.  But since he is older and needs more to eat he has to have two sets of breasts around him.  Sometimes more!

Mainly he just babbles a lot of nonsense.  Supposedly he may need to be "Institutionalized" which is what happens to adults who revert to being babies again.  At mental institutions you are usually fed and diapered like me.

Apparently he has been consuming more then just milk but Mom and Dad won't give me more details.  God!  The complexity of adult life makes me want to just be a baby forever.

Grow-up Charlie!

-Jaxon

Even Shoving My Fist in My Mouth Doesn't Work!

I slept through the night yesterday.  Bad idea.  I was cranky all afternoon.  Doesn't matter that Mimi made me a new sweater or all the time I spent in baby Einstein.  The stroller ride with June and Mimi gave me a bit of a nap but it doesn't matter, I was still really tired!

So I did what I usually do in these circumstance when I'm really cranky.  I shove my entire fist into my mouth.  Not particularly comfortable but for some reason it works for a little while.

Tonight it didn't though.  I'm still mad.  I would be tempted not to sleep as much tonight but I think Mom has gotten me locked into some sort of schedule now. Lame!

-Jaxon